This last term was only six weeks long and we had the whole time to work somewhat independently towards final projects. So, it was good but required self-discipline and pacing. I worked all through the last break so I felt like I was in good shape, actually ahead of schedule. I was pretty happy with my artwork and my ideas. I had all the research and report writing done by the second week and only needed to do my printing and computer work. I was working hard and pretty much constantly, but it was all moving along till I printed my design for our final brief - "Epic Ocean Adventures/Sirens and Sea Monsters". The watercolor effect in the artwork didn't translate onto print. All the subtlety and personality of my crab was lost leaving it looking like a shell (pun intended). The design looked empty and unfinished.
(just as an example of how cursed the Toile print is, I tried to load the image 4
different times in 4 different formats and it wouldn't load!!!!)
|we had dinner at home on the actual birthday. Mira cooked and made a cake!|
To try and make it all come together and to relieve some of my anxiety about finishing, I worked extra and even crashed a couple of other people's classes so that I could get my screens ready for printing. In the final class, I powered down and got the prints done in time. Thankfully, they turned out really cute, I think. I only wish I had had more time to try different fabrics and color combinations. The teacher and some of the other students who were done with their work helped me so I could get it done, and I am so thankful for them.
|a digital print on linen based on some photos I took of the girls' hands when they were little and we were in Canberra|
David's party was a success. The final print was finally a success. Is it right to say that the worrying was for nothing? I don't think so. I think I needed that to keep me focused. Having said that, I think there is another way. I don't want to be bored, but I don't want to be pushed to the point of frazzled stress. I wish there were a happy medium - a healthy challenge.
I know that people say that you have to push yourself to grow, that you have to take a leap to see if you can fly, that you have to have darkness to see the stars, doors open for those who knock the hardest, blah blah blah… The thing is, I don't feel stronger or smarter, or better when I am pushed. I feel smaller and weaker. I feel stronger when I have success, when I am on a roll, when I get positive feedback. What is wrong with that?
|last day of drawing class. We were doing Life drawing aka nudes.|
I realized something about myself doing this course. I realized that I have always chosen paths that I know I will be good at. I think that when I was growing up, I was naturally good at some things, so I gravitated towards those things and stuck with them. I guess I always thought I either could or couldn't do something. (I think there is a whole book written about this that my sister Ellen wanted me to read). Funnily enough, as someone who loves being a student, deep down, I guess I don't believe that I can actually change through learning. I don't believe that new skills grow like branches on a tree. I do believe in improving - a little. I do believe in expanding one's repertoire. I definitely don't want to fail. I don't feel better or wiser after I do.
I also realized something else. I really have to manage my stress. I want to enjoy what I am doing. I want to be present in my life, with my family, friends, and work. Too many people are flying around working harder, faster, and longer. I find the whole fast-paced, 21st century, city life interesting and enlightening, but exposure to it has made me feel stronger about my desire to fight it. I am now working on a plan to build a 21st century hippie - more on this later.
|sailor girl color 1|
|my teacher hiding behind the print|
I have to turn in my portfolio next week and give my final presentation. After that, I am away from school for two months. I have applied to the second year of the program and, if I get in, I will be working all next year to hunker down and strengthen my own style, keeping it sane and healthy.
|I folded it over the chair just to get an idea of what it might be used for.|
|color ways with a more summery feel|