Roots and Wings

I always think of the metaphor of roots and wings when I think about life. Now that I am trying to visualize it, it doesn't completely make sense. Is it a bird with roots, or a tree with wings? Either way, I think of a balanced life as having the right amount of both. I hope that I have given my children a good amount of each - a sense of security and home to back up a sense of independence and exploration.

I tend to feel that for my own life, I have sacrificed roots sometimes in favor of wings. Maybe I have faith that my friends, family, and home will always be there, so I uproot myself and fly off somewhere new. I think that I am basically a wanderer with a strange yearning to always head out just one more time, just one more different direction. I do know that this comes at a price.

There is a very real, material cost. Every time we move, it costs money, we loose some of the things we have acquired, we loose seniority in jobs and organizations, we loose clout in the community. More importantly though, we loose our networks, our support systems, and our friends. Of course, my true friends will always be my friends, and with email, facebook, and skype, I can stay in touch and share life even face to face. I have even been known to hug and kiss the computer screen. However, the truth is that I am thousands of miles and even a day away from most of the people that I love and care about. This becomes painful and tormentingly conflicting when something bad happens.

We lost a friend last week, unexpectedly. It was a shocking tragedy. It was also the 13 year anniversary of the death of my sister. I want to figure out a way to offer love and support from a distance. Yes, there are things I can and will do. Maybe the element of feeling far away is just my particular version of the pain and sadness that is inevitable.

I think firstly of the family, and how bad it is for them, how their lives will never be the same. Then I think of what it can mean in my life. It represents the presence of sadness, loss, uncertainty, but it also serves as a bitter reminder that I need to tell my friends and family who are still alive how much they mean to me, how much I love them, how grateful I am for this life that I have with them in it.

Even though I wish for some things to improve and evolve; even though I am sad to be far away from some people; even though I get moody and grumpy sometimes; I am happy for all the good. I feel that making the best of what I have is one thing that I need to do out of respect for the people that have died and for the ones that will need as much positivity as possible to start to eventually tip the balance of their lives little by little by little. I hope that my flying around will not take away from, but instead give strength to their roots and wings.

(The painting is from Encore Editions. )